There is so much I didn't know, about being a mom and how my faith and hope in this Christ-child would be such a gift of healing, joy and perspective each Christmas.
I have been reflecting on both lately and what I didn't know when I brought my baby into the world 16 years ago on Christmas morning.
The following is a note to self of what I have learned these 16 years of being a mom to this boy:
Mama Did You Know
Mama did you know
that the stretching and emptying
of your womb would fill your heart with a vulnerability of emotions
and your arms with a precious gift the world will not be gentle with.
That having and holding was and is so temporary
and the pain of birthing him into the world will never really end
as he pushes his way out further and further
moment after moment.
Mary did you know
that the empty place left after birthing my gift
is filled by the gift of the miracle of your son.
This vulnerability of emotions both yours and mine
birthed fears that your son calms in the storms.
My empty arms overflow with hope
rooted in the generations of faith before you, before me
bringing all joy and peace
trusting my gift-son to
to your God son.
Mama did you know that his arms would reach for
someone, something other than you.
When you kiss that angel face you are kissing your heart exposed
and those lips won't always be reserved for you.
This conception of love would conceive love in his own heart
giving it away to his choosing.
Mary did you know
that your son would choose my son to dwell within.
That His love would make my son strong of faith
Your son's journey through the wilderness
will guide my son through his own wilderness wanderings
and that even though my son might lose sight of your's
my mama's heart trusts in the Shepherd's heart
of our Jesus who will find and seek those who are His.
Did you know that God has His own purpose for your son?
Did you know that your guidance down a certain path might be rejected
and the view might look very different to him than the one you envisioned for him?
Mary did you know?
Mama did you know?
Happy Birthday to my son!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you!