Those vague days between Christmas and New Years have brought those familiar feelings of dread. What lies ahead this next year? How will life change? Who will I lose this year? These days grief and fear are intertwined within and I struggle to break free on a daily basis. The end of one year and the beginning of another seem to enhance these feelings. However, today, after staring at a screen for two days, wrapped in warm blankets and under the safety of a place I call home I broke free. Not sure if my lungs were ready for the crisp cool breeze or if my legs had the strength for a walk down a familiar path, I forged ahead. My forging ahead allowed me the time to think back on the past year.
It has been a year of wandering, searching for my place. Longings, desires and dreams have awoken, and I am not sure what to do with them. I struggle with the questions: Do I want more from life or do I want less? A simpler life, perhaps, or is the voice within me crying out for a place to be heard? Do I stay in the background and continue to wait until things look like I think they should, or do I step out in faith and forge through the forest unsure of when a clearing will come into view?
Your own ears will hear him.
Right behind you a voice will say, “"This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left.
My experience this New Year’s is for the most part void of fear, upheld in hope that will be carry me onward, and with a joy in the passing of 2019 that will be my strength. For I have and will continue to do this:
Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.
For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.
And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed in the whole world, you will share in all his glory.
Maybe there are some things you need to be honest about. I promise you will find freedom if you take that risk. Maybe shame, embarrassment or fear keep your heart clamped up tight. May I remind you that God sent his son, Jesus, to us as a reminder of His favor upon on (Luke 2:14). Start there, in the quiet of that place where it is just you and Jesus, believing this truth: the favor of the Lord rests upon you.
I do believe for you that when you bury your own longings, dreams and desires with Christ that He will breathe life into them. This next year might not look like you expected it to, but I pray that as time enfolds so will His purpose, His will and His desires for your life. May peace and joy remain unwrapped as you share in God’s “Glorious Unfolding” throughout 2020.
P.S. As I ended this post I was reminded of the the song "Glorious Unfolding" by Steven Curtis Chapman