And I want to know why.
I want to understand the heart of this Savior that would knowingly die on those cross beams of wood.
The perfect lamb, sinless man who endured such suffering.
Such a sacrifice of passion fills my soul with a passion too. Passion to serve as He served. Passion to love as He loved. Passion to weep for the things that made Him weep.
"Now as He drew near, He saw the city and wept over it saying, "If you had known, even you, especially in this your day, the things that make for your peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes." Luke 19:41-42
Jesus knew destruction was coming. He knew their enemy would have victory. He knew the children would die. He knew the stones would crumble around and beneath them. He knew they would forsake the only One who could bring true peace.
When we were born, He knew our futures too.
And I wonder if He wept.
I wonder if He wept knowing that our parents would divorce. Or our spouse would leave us. Or if He wept because He knew we would fall into drug or alcohol or food or pornography addictions. Did He weep knowing we would give our hearts and bodies away too soon and live life under a blanket of shame? Did He weep knowing that our children would be with Him before we were ready to give them up through miscarriage or premature death? Or that our innocence would be taken from us? Maybe He wept because He knew we would make decisions that would level our lives leaving them barren, fruitless, lonely and empty, void of the peace that He came to bring.
He wept for what was to come. We weep for what has already come to pass.
And I believe that as we weep for our losses, pain, hurts, disappointments, fears, failures, betrayals, shattered expectations, unwanted diagnoses, and the devastating consequences of our sins, He weeps with us.
He is the Comforter.
He holds our raw hearts in His hands.
He is the Healer.
After He comforts and heals, and the peace comes, when our hearts are held safe in His hands, He allows us to touch His heart.
When we touch the heart of God together we weep. We weep for the things that break His heart.
And she was beautiful . . . and broken. The pain she inflicted upon herself masked the pain within, but the exterior scars exposed all.
I don't know her story, but God does. Jesus weeps for her brokenness. And having touched the heart of God through my own healing, my heart, too, weeps for her.
Lent brings us closer to the heart of God. Through repentance, a contrite heart, godly sorrow and holy mourning weeping may come. But so does comfort and healing.
With courage let us wear the footwear of the gospel of peace, following Jesus' footsteps even if it leads us into the darkness of our pain or the pain of someone else. Let us weep a sacrifice of tears knowing that our tears mixed with His, heal our hearts and bring us closer to His heart where the peace of Christ rests. In that comfort and during the healing, we will find strength to rejoice in His goodness and the courage to praise Him, despite the pain, for His faithfulness.
We know the end of the story. The stone has been rolled away. The Prince of Peace is not hidden from our eyes or hearts. "Weeping may remain for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5
So let us weep for our brokenness and the brokenness of others with the hope of the season, knowing that the Prince of Peace has come to heal the brokenhearted, set the captives free, comfort those who mourn and turn our ashes into beauty.