We dipped our feet in the water on that vacation.  It had been a long day. We hiked a long hike.  Our bodies were hot and our feet were tired  

We played a game. on top of that mountain. . . . who could keep her feet in the icy coldness the longest? 

I don't remember who won, but I remember that moment with her, that week long vacation, those memories made that summer.  I remember the lessons she learned: how to cook mac and cheese on a camp stove after plucking each elbow macaroni out of the dirt when the box tipped over and how to pee in the wilderness without soaking the waistband of her shorts or getting it on her shoes.  She learned the excitement of catching her first fish and how to push through the mental and physical exhaustion when pushed beyond what she thought her limits were.

The week came to an end, the family van descended that mountain into the valley below, and the survival lessons ceased.

At least that is what I thought.

One ordinary evening, as I was preparing an ordinary dinner, the dog pooped an ordinary poop. . . in the house!  

And she was asked to pick it up!  And she heard me loud and clear!

But she chose not to. . . at least not when she was asked.  I do believe her when she said that she had every intention of doing it . . . later.  But the distractions came and the task forgotten.

When my husband walked into the room and picked up the pile, I reacted.

ANGRILY

The anger carried over to the dinner table.  She didn't seem sorry enough, in my opinion.  Forgetting was not an acceptable excuse.  She disobeyed on accident and I wanted not only an apology, but a "will you forgive me, Mommy?"

After dinner she was told to help with the dishes.  I wanted so desperately to spend this time with her, so I could get what I felt I deserved  Those four words from her were the only keys to appeasing my anger and opening the door of my heart to extend that forgiveness.

But the Lord had his own set of keys.

As we were washing dishes, I asked in a not so friendly tone, "What do you think you need to do, so I won't be mad at you anymore?"  

Her reply crushed my heart!

"Work harder," she said softly.

Oh Lord!  Is this what I have taught my daughter?  Does she really think she can work her way out of this?  How do I fix this?  How do I teach her to just ask for forgiveness?  

I wasn't angry anymore, just desperate - desperate to make this right and teach her a different way.  But I didn't know how to do it on my own.

So I prayed fervently but silently for wisdom.  As I prayed with a dried dish in my hand, I moved to put it away and she moved too.  The ceramic collided with the small of her back with force and she broke.  And the tears spilled, and I didn't mean to hurt her. . . it was an accident.

As I held that girl, crying my own tears, I told her I was so sorry.  I didn't mean to hurt her with the dish.  It was an accident.

"Will you forgive me?" I asked her.

I asked HER!  That was it!  My answer to my prayer, "Lord, how do I teach her to just ask for forgiveness?" 

I had to model it.  I had to make a mistake and then model the correct response.  

When our tears stopped, we went out to the pool and side by side we soaked our feet and talked about what happened.  We were tired, but this time it was not from climbing a mountain and learning survival skills along the way.  

It was from learning life skills down here in the valley.  It was from the emotional fight to get to a place of forgiveness and grace our relationship so desperately needed in the ordeal.  

It was me being humbled by the Lord in an instant to teach my daughter what I didn't know how to teach her when I was full of my own anger and self-righteousness.  

Parenting is a tough job!  As I taught my daughter a lesson of forgiveness that day, I also learned something.  I learned that my Father is right there ready to help in my time of need.  

Wisdom, grace, and forgiveness are waiting to be handed down to His children when we are humble enough to receive them. 

It is how we survive the storms.  It is how we find our way when we are lost.  It is how we learn to love others.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God."  1 John 4:7

"What do I know for sure?" has been one of those nagging questions in my head lately.

I haven't had the passion or energy to sit down and write my list of "what I know for sures" until today.

The first thing I know FOR SURE is that I am alive!

And that is a big deal...today!

On January 22, 1973 the Supreme Court of the United States of America legalized abortion.  I know that FOR SURE!  It was written in history and has been a controversial "hot" topic for 40 years.  Since that time 55 million Americans have been aborted.  I don't know for sure that 55 million is a 100% accurate account for the number of abortions over the course of 40 years, but I DO KNOW FOR SURE that many, many. . .too many babies have been killed because of this ruling on this date in 1973.  

You know what else I know for sure?

I KNOW FOR SURE that on this date, January 22, 1973, there was a young, unwed, teenage girl who was 2 months pregnant and scared.  I know this because she was my mom, and she was pregnant with me!  And because of the scientific advances over the years in the area of obstetrics I KNOW FOR SURE that my heart was beating within her.

I also KNOW FOR SURE that on January 23, 1973 it would have been perfectly legal for her to have had an abortion.  It was still the first trimester.  Having a baby in high school wasn't socially acceptable.  The circumstances were not ideal for raising a child.    

Abortion was not an option in her heart, but it was an option nonetheless!

And I KNOW FOR SURE that my mom intentionally chose life for me, despite the Supreme Court ruling, despite family opinions, despite her own fear.

I KNOW FOR SURE that she was brave.

I KNOW FOR SURE that life wasn't easy for a lot of years because of her decision.

I KNOW FOR SURE that life wouldn't have been any easier living with the consequences of abortion had she had one.

I KNOW FOR SURE that because of her decision, I have a voice on the matter. . . because her decision mattered to me.

I KNOW FOR SURE that I survived Roe vs. Wade, but many babies did not.

I ALSO KNOW that God is the creator of all life, knitting us together from conception.  And we are called children of God.  Some children, like the 55 million, just get to be with their Father way too soon.

I KNOW, too, that Jesus heals the brokenhearted moms who have chosen abortion, that He will comfort them in their mourning, and turn their shame into honor.  Isaiah 61: 1-3,7

I KNOW that today I am thankful for life, for the hope in His Word that I believe with all my heart, and for my mom.

"O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption."  Psalm 130:7

What do you know FOR SURE today?

I teach lessons.  That is my job in the real world.  I show up, read the lesson plans and then I am the trained professional substitute teacher expected to implement them

Some days those math lessons pose quite a challenge.  Other days the technology doesn't cooperate and every lesson is a challenge.  

But one day this week I read the lesson plan.  I knew the curriculum. And the good old fashioned T.V. with built in DVD player was no match for my technological wits!

"I can do this!" I thought to myself.

It was a 6th grade class, the curriculum was Ancient Egypt and the DVD was about Moses.  I knew Moses' story and I knew how God used him to deliver the Israelites out of Egypt. . . .and I got to teach that. . . .in the public school!

I showed the movie The Prince of Egypt and together we worked through the first 8 questions.  They were basic questions such as: How is the baby saved?  What does Moses do that shocks his fellow Egyptians? Describe the people that save Moses.

By the time we got to question #9 Moses was experiencing an identity crisis.  He was raised an Egyptian prince but born an Israelite.  When Moses witnessed a Israelite slave being treated unjustly by an Egyptian, he killed the unjust man.  Moses lost favor with the Egyptians through the murder, and because of his Egyptian upbringing, he was already despised by the Israelites.  Upon losing a sense of belonging to any peoples, he fled!  

He fled to a dry and desolate land, entering a dry and desolate season of life.

It was during this dry and desolate time that Moses found a sense belonging.  In the movie his father-in-law sings the song "Through Heaven's Eyes" to Moses.  Below is a visually beautiful version of the same song from the movie that I thought I would share.

#9 What does the chief of the tribe try to teach Moses through his song?

Let us pause right here (I literally paused the DVD). Let's talk through this question.  Let's understand the message together.

With the kids I simply explained that Moses was an Israelite.  He was one of God's chosen people.  What mattered now was how God saw Moses, as one of His own!  Moses needed a perspective change, to look at his life through heaven's eyes.

During those dry and desolate seasons we often need to look at our life through heaven's eyes.  Through Christ, we too are God's chosen ones.  

Last year I went through one of those dry and desolate times.  During that time I took a blank journal and on each page I wrote a promise from scripture.  I had reminder after reminder of God's promises for my life and who He said I was.  One scripture I held on to was Psalm 1:3  "He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not whither.  Whatever he does prospers."

Another one was Romans 8:37 "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."

During the burning bush scene God tells Moses he is sending him back to Egypt to free the Israelites.  Moses says in Exodus 3: 11 "Who am I, that I should go to Pharoah and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

God did not give Moses an immediate answer.  One night I too cried out to the Lord and asked, "Who am I?"  I didn't get an immediate answer either.  But it was the beginning of my journey to looking at my life through heaven's eyes.  

In the end I hope to be called a friend of God like Moses was.  

My favorite line in this song is "and though you never know all the steps you must learn to join the dance" because it takes trust, and faith and courage to step in not knowing exactly where the steps will take you.

At this point in your journey, who does God say you are?  I would love to hear what scriptures God is speaking to your heart.

Blessings!  

About 22 years ago I bought a book for a child.  It was a children's book of Bible stories in rhythm and rhyme.  

It may have been the only Bible storybook in that child's library.  But I prayed that the sing-songy words would forever leave a seed of knowledge of the existence of God in that child's heart.

The child grew, the library content changed, and the book was passed back.  

Three more children, with a library full of Bible stories, read and enjoyed the same rhythm and rhyme.  I again prayed that seeds would be planted in their hearts upon hearing the stories of God's faithfulness, healing, and power.  Eventually, those three children also grew, their library content changed and their Bible storybooks turned into Bibles.  

And the Bible storybook in rhythm and rhyme was passed on.

It was donated to the preschool class where many children over the years have enjoyed the rhythms and truths of the stories.  And the prayers for each child in these classes was still the same.  

God bless these children today.  May your words plant seeds in their hearts and may they feel your love in this place.

Last Sunday a little girl picked up that very same book.  She sat on my lap and asked if I would read her a story.  We read about Noah, David, Esther, Jesus, and then the filling of the Holy Spirit.

The story ended with the words, "We are full of God's great power, and he will fill you too!  Yes!  God can fill you too."

Those big brown eyes looked up at me and asked, "Can God really do that?"  

Oh yes sweet girl He really can!  We talked about people in her life that God has filled.

"How does God do that?" was the next question.

We talked about prayer.  We just have to ask God to fill us and He will. 

"THEN YOU HAVE TO PRAY FOR ME RIGHT NOW," she bid.

Oh, child!  It would be my privilege..

With that child wrapped in my arms I prayed that God would fill her with Himself, with His son, with his Spirit.

And a seed was planted. 

"And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved."  Acts 2:21

I know that little girl's story.  It is not void of sadness, insecurity, and brokenness.  And in many ways resembles my own story at such a young age..  But I also know this:  GOD IS IN THE BUSINESS OF FILLING  

Living a life of fullness in Him goes beyond the assurance of salvation.  It is being full of whatever we need from the Lord for that moment.  

Last night I had one of those fear paralyzing nightmares.  In his arms my Phil prayed that I would be filled with peace.  I needed that in the moment.

David said in Psalm 16:11 "...you will fill me with joy in your presence."

There are many moments each day where I need that too.

In Deuteronomy when Moses laid hands on Joshua he was filled with a spirit of wisdom.

In raising three kids I often need a filling of wisdom.,

In Exodus when God had a project for His people to do here on earth He filled them "with skill, ability, and knowledge in all kinds of crafts."  Exodus 31:3

God fills.  His Word fills.  His Spirit fills.  When we embrace the 3 in 1 we are filled.

What is it that needs to be filled for you today, in this moment?  Reading His Word, praying and being wrapped in His arms is the best way to receive your filling.  

I am still praying for that child from 22 years ago. I am praying for my own three hearts entrusted to my care for the moment, and I will continue to pray for the little one who so desperately needed some filling that moment on Sunday.  Prayer releases the flow of living water that empowers those seeds to take root.  

So pray with me that the seeds that need watering in our own hearts and in those we love would take root today!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13

I turned the knob, stopping the flow of water.  Opening the door, I reached out grabbing for a towel.  Somewhere between the opening of the door and the towel grasp was a glimpse.  A very quick glimpse, but it was enough. 

It was a glimpse of exposure.  

In the exposure were flaws, imperfections I don't want to see.  And I could not help but feel ugly.  

Exposure is disclosure of something private or secret  Today was not the first time I have felt like this.  I have been exposed before and it has not always been in the privacy of a locked bathroom.  My words have exposed me worse than that mirror.  Words of discontentment, jealousy, anger or pride (just to name a few) have left me feeling ashamed.  Glimpses in the wrong direction expose my weaknesses.  Thoughts too unacceptable to speak expose the depravity of my humanness.  

But this one glimpse exposed it all. From the skin, to the heart, to the mind and soul.  

I found myself asking a familiar question.  It is a question I have repeatedly asked this last year.  It is my defense against the enemy when those flaming arrows start flying.

What is the Truth here, Rachael?  

The truth revealed in the x-ray of that mirror was this:  I AM NOT PERFECT.  But the one I married to whom I am most often exposed, has grace for my imperfections.  And the Lord who is my El Roi (the God who sees), is exposed to even more and in His graciousness has called me His own.

Intimacy requires exposure.  In Exodus 33: 12 the Lord said to Moses, "I know you by name, and you have also found grace in My sight."  In John 15:4 Jesus says, "Abide in Me and I in you."  

Exposure is necessary in relationship and grace is essential.  The Lord sees all and looks upon all with grace.  I must allow the exposure of the ugly in order to receive grace from the One who makes all things beautiful

Ugliness saps me of self-confidence and makes me want to bury myself under a pile of fig leaves.  But in that place of hiding, I cannot receive the grace He so desperately desires to lavish over me.  

So, I drop the towel.  And I look into the mirror and see. . . . 

grace, forgiveness, and mercy like a robe of the finest silk concealing the ugliness, the imperfections, and the sins, making the exposure beautiful  

"Let us therefore, come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."  Hebrews 4:16

"For you say, I am rich; I have prospered and grown wealthy, and I am in need of nothing; and you do not realize and understand that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.

"Therefore I counsel you to purchase from Me gold refined and tested by fire, that you may be [truly] wealthy, and white clothes to clothe you and to keep the shame of your nudity from being seen, and salve to put on your eyes, that you may see.

"Those whom I [dearly and tenderly] love, I tell their faults and convict and convince and reprove and chasten [I discipline and instruct them]. So be enthusiastic and in earnest and burning with zeal and repent [changing your mind and attitude]."  Revelation 3:17-19 AMP


So I have to ask: What are you wearing today?  What is the message of the garment that clothes you?  


Is it time for a change of clothes?


Just remember in the taking off of the garments of wretchedness, before the putting on of the garment of grace is nakedness and exposure.


And it is hard. And it is ugly. But it is necessary.


So in the exposure raise your arms in surrender and receive the garments of grace that He so graciously offers.