"We never talked about it," Dan said.  "I knew she was hurting from it.  I was too, but it's just. . . it's just too big, too scary, you don't want to go near it.  You just try to bury it and hope it'll go away."  

Eventually our past catches up to us, doesn't it?  

We can only run for so long.  Legs get tired, hearts get heavy, and one day we  wake up in a fog and can't figure out how to clear the view.  That was what happened to Kathy Ross.  

After nine years of holding the pain at bay, all it took was one incident and the floodgates of pain poured forth, drowning her in insecurity.  Wave after wave of sleepless nights kept her sinking into a sea of unanswered questions.  

Do you really love me? she asked her husband.

Do you think I am a good person?

Was I a good mother?  Did I do alright?

This couple had a secret hiding in the closet, one too painful to revisit. That is until one day when Kathy was led back to that painful place. 

In that place sorrow was released from the prison of her heart, anguish flowed from her lips and her remorse was washed over by forgiveness.

This quick read is captivating.  If you struggle with unforgiveness from your past choices or secrets from your past that you are too afraid to admit, through the words on these pages, you will find an open door to healing and courage to walk through it.  

Kathy did. And it led her to a life of reconciled peace with her past. 

The copyright date of Tilly is 1988.  You may also be able to find it as an audiodrama.  This book will take you about 1 to 2 hours to read and I am sure you can request a copy from your local public library.  

Enjoy and let me know what you think!  If you have read it before, I would love to hear your thoughts and perspective on this story.

Blessings,

Rachael

Linking with:
The Weekend Brew
Fellowship Fridays #61

The path above got narrower and narrower as I climbed higher and higher.  To the north and to the south: a sheer drop off
The challenge of the trail was the thousand foot gaining series of switchbacks about a mile and a half into the hike.
Endurance was necessary
But the greatest challenge was fear: a fear of heights.

Isn't that always the greatest challenge: fear? 

We are all heading into a new week; one more day of rest and the next climb begins.  
Some of us have our weeks planned out, our calenders dictating the activities of each day.
But this week I have to leave my calender open for the unknown.
Fears rest in the darkness of the unknown, in the blank spaces of my calender.
I wait this week for doors to open or doors to close,
Until then I am caught in the middle, climbing to the top.
Endurance will be necessary
The facing of the fears of the unknown and allowing God to fill in the blanks will be my challenge.

But that is okay because God is my guide on the journey.
I will trust Him to open the doors and seek His wisdom before walking through them.
If those doors close . . .

I will trust that He is watching over me. 

And when I get to the end of the week and look back at the view, no matter where the journey takes me this week . . .

I will see beauty.
I will see a bigger perspective.
I will find rest in His plans for my life!

And so will you, friend!

Linking with:
The Weekend Brew
Tell His Story
Wednesday Prayer Girls
Scripture and a Snapshot
Spiritual Sundays
Sunday Stillness

You know when you watch a movie and it gets to that point when things don't look good and you wonder "How can this possibly end well?". In an action movie, the good guys seem to have been defeated or were close to it before an unexpected turn of events gave them extra strength to come back and win the battle.  In a love story, hearts were crushed and hopelessness prevailed until, by some miracle, relational restoration rose love from the dead.   

That is about where I am at in my bible reading.  

Judah has been completely destroyed.  Despair and hopelessness, anguish and rejection abound.  After hundreds of years of being rejected by His own, God has finally rejected them.  His hand of protection has lifted and enemies from all around, surround and take captive. the children of Israel. 

Each morning this week I have woken up to the anticipation of Lamentations.  Let's just say it has been a little harder to get out of bed!  I am sad for these people.  I am sad for the babies with parched mouths, for those slain with hunger, for the shed blood of the just (if there really were any), and for those who had been utterly rejected by their Creator. . .

Or so it would seem for about 400 more years. 

Even though I know the end of the story, every one of those taken captive ended their days with the fierce anger of the Lord upon them.  Their crowns would never be restored and the streets would remain desolate. 

God was dealing with them, punishing them for their rebellious ways and for the rebellious ways of their fathers.  And He had a question for them:

"Can your heart endure, or can your hands remain strong in the days when I shall deal with you?"  Ezekiel 22:14

Is the Lord asking you this question in your current circumstance?  Is your heart growing faint like the hearts of the Israelites did during their difficult days, their difficult life when women became widows and fathers lost their daughters and their inheritance was turned over to strangers?

I am not saying that our difficulties are due to our own rebellious ways against the Lord, although I do believe that as a nation we are headed in that direction.  But we all live through difficult seasons and I believe the Lord has a purpose for the pain.  And when He is dealing with us or them or with the situation there is hope that HIS WILL will prevail even if we don't ever see it this side of heaven.  

Sometimes it seems God is distant and sometimes it seems He is silent, but remember the 400 years of silence?  A miracle was brewing.  It had to be God's timing and when we are waiting for God's timing 400 years is a long time.  But to Him it was the perfect time.  

And in the meantime, God is dealing with you and your heart.  David says in Psalm 27 that the Lord strengthens the hearts of those who wait on Him.  In Jeremiah's anguish in Lamentations I found hope. Yes, we will be afflicted by the weight of pain, but through the Lord's mercies we will not be consumed. 

Great is His Faithfulness

"For the Lord will not cast us off forever.  Though He causes grief, yet He will show compassion according to the multitude of His mercies."  Lamentations 3:31

The Bible is both an action and a love story.  Hopelessness will not prevail in this story.  The prince will return riding His white horse to take back His bride, to make all things new!  The enemy will be defeated, and for us and our hearts . . .

"God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying.  There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."  Revelation 21:4

I pray you see the light of hope in your darkest days.  I pray you draw near to God and listen for that still small voice saying, "Do not fear!"  (Lamentations 3:57)  I pray for redemption of what has been lost and for restoration as it was in the days of old.  And I pray for God's timing in it all.

Blessings to you!

Rachael

Linking with:
Fellowship Fridays
Imperfect Prose
Tell His Story
Tell Me A Story
The Weekend Brew