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Advent Week 3

12/23/2015

On Christmas day my son will be 16. And I am kind of hung up on that like an ornament tucked in behind the branches of the decorated Christmas tree, hidden on the back side. This growing up, milestone birthday has my emotions all mixed up. It hit me in worship during week 3 of Advent when we sang Mary Did You Know. There is so much Mary didn't know.

There is so much I didn't know, about being a mom and how my faith and hope in this Christ-child would be such a gift of healing, joy and perspective each Christmas.

I have been reflecting on both lately and what I didn't know when I brought my baby into the world 16 years ago on Christmas morning.

The following is a note to self of what I have learned these 16 years of being a mom to this boy:

Mama Did You Know

Mama did you know
that the stretching and emptying
of your womb would fill your heart with a vulnerability of emotions
and your arms with a precious gift the world will not be gentle with.
That having and holding was and is so temporary
and the pain of birthing him into the world will never really end
as he pushes his way out further and further
moment after moment.

Mary did you know
that the empty place left after birthing my gift
is filled by the gift of the miracle of your son.
This vulnerability of emotions both yours and mine
birthed fears that your son calms in the storms.
My empty arms overflow with hope
rooted in the generations of faith before you, before me
bringing all joy and peace
trusting my gift-son to
to your God son.

Mama did you know that his arms would reach for
someone, something other than you.
When you kiss that angel face you are kissing your heart exposed
and those lips won't always be reserved for you.
This conception of love would conceive love in his own heart
giving it away to his choosing.

Mary did you know
that your son would choose my son to dwell within.
That His love would make my son strong of faith
Your son's journey through the wilderness
will guide my son through his own wilderness wanderings
and that even though my son might lose sight of your's
my mama's heart trusts in the Shepherd's heart
of our Jesus who will find and seek those who are His.

Did you know that God has His own purpose for your son?
Did you know that your guidance down a certain path might be rejected
and the view might look very different to him than the one you envisioned for him?

Mary did you know?
Mama did you know?

There is a lot I have learned these 16 years and much much more to learn as I continue to love my children. They are each unique gifts and I am so thankful to have the pleasure (and pain) of being their mother.

Happy Birthday to my son!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you!

Love, Rachael

Linking with Emily P. Freeman @ Chatting at the Sky

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For Your Second Week of Advent

12/12/2015

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I began the week sick and ended it with a terrible sinus headache. Somewhere in the middle my computer crashed. It has been a long week with a few tears, late nights and busy days. The second week of Advent is about remembering, specifically in our church the theme is God will Remember. I didn't feel forgotten this week and I wasn't desperately clinging to my faith in a major crisis but I did have to remember JOY, especially that the "joy of the Lord is my strength."

Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

In my sickness I took a day off and my parents happened to be visiting. It was a JOY to spend time with them.

In the glitches my students were great. It is a JOY to spend my days with them.

In the sinus pressure pain my family spent the evening together. My greatest JOY is when we are all home.

Despite the busy days, I spent time with friends around a table, enjoying the sights of Christmas and decorating Christmas cookies. Intimacy of relationship and experiences shared fill me with JOY.

All our days are holy, given to us as a gift. How we choose to live them is up to us.

Choose joy today.

Even in the pain, depression, unfortunate circumstances, sickness or tiredness JOY is always accessible even in the littlest blessings.

Joy to you today, for this is the season we celebrate the coming of the Lord.
Make room in your heart for your heart is a manger and there dwells Christ.
Listen to the songs of the season, look at how the natural beauty depicts His glory
day after day, morning after morning.
His blessings flow and the wonders of His love are all around.
Let grace and truth reign
for there you will find the presence of joy
and the joy of the Lord will be your strength.

Blessings for your weekend!

Love, Rachael

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For Your Week Ahead #18

12/2/2015

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FOR YOUR 1ST WEEK OF ADVENT

EMMANUEL - God WITH us.
Yet we sing O Come, O Come Emmanuel
because sometimes it seems like we are forsaken, forgotten and left to fend for ourselves in this crazy, violent world.

Yet those who live with Emmanuel within
wait with hope for the rescue from this lonely exile
in this temporary place,
rejoicing in that hope.

O Come, O Come, save us Emmanuel!
The depravity of man casts shadows over this land, over the hearts of men.
Gloom and misery prevail

Yet we watch, awake and alert for the
coming of the Emmanuel's mercy and redemption.
In the Day-Spring,
when the dark shadows flee,
rejoicing is sung loud for victory shall come.

When it seems like all is forsaken
we watch and wait,
for out of the darkness, out of the silence
hope is born,
hope was born
and for that we rejoice and celebrate
this season of Christ's birth.

Merry Christmas!

Love, Rachael

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Welcome

My name is Rachael. I wear many hats but author is not one of them....yet. I'm trying it on for comfort, searching for the perfect fit for my creative outlet.